yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
