I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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