Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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