Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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