i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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