If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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