What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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