Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
