were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
