Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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