You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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