You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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