Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
