dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
