that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
