I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You made out with two different species that night
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
