I like my sex mixed with concussions.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
