This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
