No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
