Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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