Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it's great music for shaving your balls
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
When are your genitals available?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
