i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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