He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
