remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize