This house was built for laser tag.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Randomize
