We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
