Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Actions speak louder than pants.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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