I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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