people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
