The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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