his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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