Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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