Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize