wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
