Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize