i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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