I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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