he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Randomize
