in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
