Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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