I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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