Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
