i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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