he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
