Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
