i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
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I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
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I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Boobs are out for the taking
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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