Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
