do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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