Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize