why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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