he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
