: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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