I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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