the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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