When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
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Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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