she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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