Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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