I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
