There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
