I didn't shave. On purpose
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
